Jacqueline

We have been out and about a lot this week, and while waiting in traffic recently I started thinking about conformity. We were at a busy intersection with multi-lane highways intersecting. We waited a long time, I think every light changed before ours allowed us to turn. All the cars were the same. The colors were similar. Not very many people have their cars painted weird colors. Not many people paint pretty designs on them, or flowers, or polka dots. How about two-tone? It just seems odd. The same thing with houses. It seems that more people would want to express their unique personalities by having domiciles or vehicles that stray a little further from the norm.

It seems that humans are creatures of conformity. No wonder we tend to be so judgmental of others. Perhaps it is mostly because we are afraid of being judged ourselves.

Today we went to the lake. There were huge waves so we couldn't really get into the deeper water where we usually do. We had a good time though. We sat in the shallower areas and let the waves roll over us. It was refreshing and invigorating and fun! I am glad we went in spite of the overcast, chilly weather.

For dinner, I made praline pork chops. I thought they were OK, and the kids didn't like them, but Diana really liked them so it was a win! I probably won't make them again although I may try to modify the recipe or to just make a praline sauce on occasion that Diana can use. Of course, the praline sauce is fairly high in carbs, but Diana didn't have any potatoes, just the pork chops and green beans so it evened out.

Now, off to bed and a busy day tomorrow!

Today if the weather cooperates, we will be heading out to celebrate our family's official start to summer. I realize that the solstice isn't until Sunday, but this is most likely Diana's last day of work so we shall begin today.

We are going to take a picnic supper (blog post was temporarily interrupted due to my forgetfulness in the matter of making buns for picnic)and either hike to McIntyre Bluff at Sterling Nature Center or go to Flat Rock depending on how Diana feels after work today. Then much joy will ensue! (OK! Reminder to self - much joy is happening right now! Nothing else is necessary!) We even have sparkling grape juice! I have been working through a ritual in my head all day (I think my preaching mode has been in overdrive!)

Now, to herd the kids through the shower and pack the feast in such a manner that we can all carry a share if we go to McIntyre Bluff.

Our more traditional solstice ritual and bonfire will be on Monday.

Your Gift is Intellect

You are a big thinker, and you're always playing with new ideas. You are curious about the world. You enjoy learning and developing new theories. You enjoy researching, analyzing, and solving problems. Thinking hard feels good! You're the type of person who finds most mental tasks to be easy. You love to stretch your brain.

We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.

~Joseph Campbell

Yesterday we ran in the Central New York AIDS Walk/Run. It was a fun morning! The kids had a ball.

flutterbychild, a good friend and talented artist is having a 25% off sale in her etsy shop in honor of her 25th birthday. Sale is on until next Saturday June 6th! Check it out!

You Are A Spaceship

You're so weird that you're practically out of this world. You are a total dreamer. You are obsessed with conquering the impossible. You are wild and adventurous. You love thrills of all sorts. You are a true sensation seeker. You are always looking for that next high.

Today was a good day. Diana and I got to spend some quality/quantity time together. I was able to relax a bit, and we had a good dinner. The kids played a rousing and noisy game of football, and watched a tv show that they had been waiting for for awhile. Lia got to go to Jordan's and played a game of Clue with her, and Antonio went on a long bike ride with Devin whom he hadn't seen in quite awhile.

Our whole family is participating in a 5km walk/run to benefit Aids Community Resources. If anyone is interested in sponsoring us, check out our fund raising page here!

These from mermaiden...

Home -

My home seems to be where ever Diana is. I have a necklace from Glamourkins that has the word home on it. Diana bought it for me because she wanted to show me that I am always home with her, and the necklace gives me a sense of security. It was the first jewelry that she ever gave me, and it is special to me.

One of my primary tasks is to be a home maker, and I take that task very seriously. I want where ever my family goes to be welcoming to them. I want them to look joyfully forward to each homecoming as a chance to relax, find peace, and be loved.

Family -

I wrote about this one before, but I just want to reiterate how much I love my family. When my children were young, it was a lot of work caring for them all, supporting them, and meeting their needs. Now I couldn't imagine life without them though! They give so much and are each wonderful in their own unique ways!

Love -

Love have always been difficult for me. Not as difficult as the next word, but still not easy. There are those that just seem to automatically love everyone they meet. I am not of that type. There is something good about this. Love for me is always a choice as I think it is for most people in the end. (YVMV)

I strive to choose to love everyone. That takes courage.

Diana of course is somewhat of an exception. I fell in love with her based on one email to an email group list, LOL! That love only grew from then on. Through Diana, I found out just how difficult love can be, but also, just how worth it it all is! The best part though, SHE LOVES ME BACK! :D

Courage -

I have often not felt very courageous. When I was a teen I went to a leadership workshop, and the end of it we did a ritual where each of us asked for more capacity to love, more intelligence, or more courage, and courage was where I was. I have since learned a lot more about myself, and now know that it was not that I lacked courage, it was just that I was different! In many ways, I have now learned to embrace my differences although there is still room for growth.

I am living my life to learn to practice trust. Practicing trust requires heaps of courage! Mostly I just do small things, the next thing, baby steps, courage in my own way on my own timetable.

Hope -

Hope! I don't know where I would be without hope! As I age, it sometimes gets more difficult to hope. I feel the pressure of having less time! But hope is always still there giving me strength through difficult times and adding to my joy at the best of times!

I just realized that I have had a string of rather negative posts. I don't think of them as necessarily negative though. It just is, and the types of things that I have been writing about are the types of things I like documenting here. I could add more like one particularly painful crack on the ball of my foot (another symptom of spring. ;) )

I just wanted to take a moment to add the good things. I love Diana more than ever and her me. :D Our fifth anniversary is coming up in a couple of days. We are so busy that it will most likely be noted mostly by making plans to do something in a few weeks. My 42nd birthday is on Saturday. This has been a good year. Last summer, despite financial difficulties, was one of the best summers of my life. I am looking forward to this summer. I am looking forward to this year! I have no idea what is in front of us, but I know it is going to be great and just exactly as it is meant to be.

I am expecting my first grandchild at the end of July, and I am happy to be close to my daughter and wanted there for the birth. I have surprises and joys in store for all of my children. Life is wonderful, and I am glad that I am here! :D

Once again, spring arrived with eczema. It makes the allergy connection larger than ever. I have been dealing with the eczema OK, but now, I have become sensitized to poison ivy, and I have a relatively mild poison ivy rash scattered over my arms and parts of my upper body while dealing with the eczema on my legs. The combination is not fun!

I have complained here about my memory not working in quite the same way it use to. It is as if it is failing. Not horribly. Everyone I am close to still feels that I have one of the best if not the best memory they have known. I can feel the difference.

Now it has spread farther. I feel like my thought processes are disjointed. I lose my train of thought easily. I can not finish things that require concentration for any length of time. Now I have always been the typical Gemini, wanting to know a lot about everything, flitting from this to that, not getting too deep or competent at any one thing, but this is different. This somewhat affects my ability to function. Although I can still do all of the things that I did in the past, I now have to work harder, and it causes me stress and anxiety.

I feel that if I switched my diet it might if not solve at least improve these problems. I have been discussing with Diana ways to improve our diet and experimenting a bit to see if we can get better results. I am not talking about weight loss here. I am talking about feeling healthy and at the peak of our performance level.

More about this later...

edited to add - I also mix my words up more both when writing and talking. I have to edit my blog entries a lot more than I use to!

I feel called to look at my life's purpose, and the context in which I am living. (The context constructed by my mind is what I am referring to here.) I spent about 90 minutes meditating on it today. I will spend more time tomorrow. It is an interesting process.

Yesterday we had a Mexican feast. Taco salad and seven layer dip had the places of honor with Margarita cake for dessert. The cake was a win!!! So delicious! After dinner, I taught the girls the Mexican hat dance! It was silly, and at the end, we all collapsed from exhaustion!

On Sunday, Dan and Mykel came for dinner. We grilled hamburgers outside. Much fun was had by all!

The weather has been rather overcast and chilly the last few days but still springlike. I am so glad that winter is over!

On the birding front, I saw the first indigo bunting of the season at the front bird feeder this morning! There were also numerous chipping sparrows and a brown headed cowbird. The trees were full of robins displaying breeding behaviors. One large crow patrolled our yard, and when he took of he scared many of the other birds away. I hope we see the indigo bunting again soon so that I can share it with Diana. (She was still asleep this morning.)

I have a new writing opportunity that I might get started on today.

Remember,happiness doesn't depend upon who you are or what you have, it depends solely upon what you think.
~Dale Carnegie

Today I was able to add the common merganser to my birding list!

Today Diana's mom came to visit! We heading into town and partied hard. Lots of walking and food, bookstore browsing and playground playing! Plenty of tourist acting and photo taking were added into the mix! Special things included stopping at the Marina, visiting Breitbeck Park, and having ice cream with crunchy sprinkles from Bev's!

A couple of pictures! The first one is all of us crammed into the little children's reading cubby at the bookstore! Don't tell us we can't party. ;) The second is the kids playing at Breitbeck Park. Note Ant walking up the side of the slide. He loves his freerunning!